South Slope. Asheville.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

A Graceful Lady

This heartfelt and thoughtful tribute to my mom was in The Abbeville Herald recently. I appreciate her classmate's kind words and the sincerity I believe in which he shared them. Mother was indeed a rare beauty, she did have a heart that was kind, loving and caring, she did think fondly of her Shorterville church and she did live a life full of grace. Thank you Mr. Wills for expressing this so beautifully in the paper.

There is one aspect of the tribute that needs to be carefully corrected, however. Mother did communicate very clearly with her kids and her husband about her health, and did so throughout the years. It was never a burden to us. Also, let me be clear about this: there were no life-threatening health issues Mother was dealing with prior to the tragic episode that led to her death. If there had been, and if doctors had known and communicated this to Mother, she would have certainly told her closest loved ones. Her medical records and the information we received from her doctors bear this out. Therefore, the statement in the tribute above is very misleading. I certainly believe Mr. Wills did not intentionally intend for that happen. My feeling is that Mother's unexpected death, which shocked us all, and Mother's desired wishes not to have a visitation and public memorial perhaps led to some confusion about the circumstances surrounding her death. As her child, I just want to set the record straight.

Mother was looking towards the future in a strong, vibrant way. She had told us numerous times that she was destined to live a long time. I always believed that. She had many plans for the remainder of this year: visiting Sarah Beth in Auburn, possibly seeing Mark at Amelia Island, coming up to Asheville and much more. In addition, she was always asking about when Kade and I were having a baby, and she was excited about the prospects of having a half-Asian grandbaby. She said she was looking forward to coming to Asheville to spend however long she needed once Kade had a baby. It was a big source of joy for her. She had other big plans for the future as well. We had even talked about going down to live with her someday or her coming up here so we could take care of her the way she did Dot. I remember Mom being tickled by the prospects of this, saying with a laugh, "I won't be thinking about that till I'm 75." Mom was thinking long-term, and that's what's most heart-breaking. I never anticipated this happening, and losing her is enormous.

Our family is relying on fabulous memories, strong faith, old-fashioned time and close friends and family to help us deal with this huge loss. The Headland, Abbeville and Shorterville communities have been extremely kind and thoughtful, and we appreciate it very, very much.

September 23rd is Mom's birthday. On that day, I plan to post Mom's obituary and perhaps share a slideshow of old photos using one of her favorite songs. Stay tuned.

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